Everything is Wrong with You
"When in the mood for biting humor, it does the trick."
-- Lansing Lowdown
Everything is Wrong With You
"It is hilarious in the way it pokes fun at all the insane and — let’s admit it — stupid things that women put themselves through to make themselves model citizens and, more precisely, perfect wives."
-- The Badger Herald
Really, You've Done Enough
"I suggest you buy a copy of Really, You've Done Enough and a few large bottles of top-shelf liquor. Perhaps also buy a book of poetry by Philip Larkin that contains the bleakly hilarious poem This Be The Verse, which Walker acknowledges as an inspiration. Pay by credit card, and send your parents the bill. Lock yourself in your apartment. Pour, read, and enjoy."
-- Suzanne Kleid, KQED
Oh, the Humanity
"Oh, the Humanity!" comes highly recommended as a gift for that strange cousin, weirdo aunt or your abstract roommate that plays hours of "Everquest."
-- The Daily Gamecock
The New York Times says:
Nothing about Tow Books as of yet, but we're hopeful.
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TOW Books
ISBN: 978-1-58297-539-9
Paperback, 96 pages
$12.99
Forgotten Fashion
An Illustrated Faux History of Outrageous Trends and Their Untimely Demise
By Kate Hahn
If you stockpile back issues of Vogue, plan your schedule around Project Runway-and have well-dressed funny bone-you'll love this collection! Mixing fictional designers, made-up muses, and totally imaginary trendsetters with real people and places, Forgotten Fashion traces the birth, life and death of faux trends with intelligent humor. These are the stories behind such formerly unsung sartorial concoctions as a Jazz Age flapper dress made entirely of ice; a mid-century French evening gown inspired by a refrigerator; a pair of Depression Era satin pajamas popularized by Hollywood with the help of an African elephant named Jinx; an Eighties suit made with gilded pinstripes; and the littlest little black dress, ever; along with many other creations that will surprise, shock and delight you.
Pre-order this book:
Amazon
ISBN: 978-1-58297-534-4
Paperback, 256 pages
$12.99
The Ultimate Game Guide to Your Life
FOr, The Video Game as Existential Metaphor
By Christopher Monks
For anyone who has ever felt like life is like a video game comes this faux game guide for a fictional adventure video game titled "Your Life." Fans of video games or anyone who has ever held a controller will love this romp through life's challenges from the formative Toddler Years all the way to the Retirement Home. Complete with navigation, instructions for which buttons to press on your gamepad, and secret codes for success, you'll find out all the tricks to win such challenges as "Navigating the School Cafeteria on the First Day of High School" and "Temp Job Derby." Gamepad not included.
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Amazon
ISBN: 978-1-58297-550-4
Paperback, 96 pages
$12.99
The Serfitt & Cloye Gift Catalog
Just Enough of Too Much
By Bob Woodiwiss
Welcome to the Serfitt & Cloye Gift Catalog. Inside, you'll find we've assembled a supra-extraordinary collection of life-enhancing astonishments that surpasses even our über-outré compendium of dream-fulfilling amazements from last year. It's the least we could do for those who covet the most.Treat yourself to the delicate caress of fab fur toilet tissue. Exude sheer style with ultra lightweight Emperor's New Tee. And what better way to start the day than being greeted by your very own perpetual puppy-absolutely guaranteed never to age into a cumbersome dog? Enter the world of Serfitt & Cloye. Where opulence lives in luxury.
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Amazon
ISBN: 978-1-58297-519-1
Paperback, 144 pages
$9.99
So You Want to Be President
Find Out If You Have the Ego, Bankroll, and Moral Flexibility to Lead the Nation and Take On the World
By John Warner
Perhaps the better question than "So you want to be president?" is "Who wouldn't want to be president?" Consider the perks: Nice house (rent-free), massive staff (taxpayer-supported), private plane (and helicopter, and hovercraft, and super-secret modes of transportation the public doesn't even know about), guaranteed television exposure … it's like being Donald Trump, except with your own hair, and access to nukes.
That said, becoming president-getting elected president-is much, much harder than being president. Consider all the great historical figures who have never been elected President:
Bob Dole
Winston Churchill
Lassie
Thomas Jefferson |
Florida Evans
Anne Frank
Q*Bert |
This book will help you determine if you have the basic stuff to run for president and, following that, whether you're more elephant, donkey, or whatever animal may be associated with an independent candidate. You will challenge your opponents in a series of tests and obstacles that will make the hijinks on Battle of the Network Stars look like Masterpiece Theatre. If you manage to successfully navigate all challenges, you'll win the ultimate prize, the Presidency of the United States … except not really, because we're just pretending here.
About the Author
John Warner is the editor of McSweeney's Internet Tendency and teaches at Clemson University. He writes fiction, humor, and nonfiction, and is co-author of My First Presidentiary: A Scrapbook of George W. Bush, a Washington Post #1 bestseller. He is co-editor of Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's, Humor Category (Knopf), and his work has been anthologized in May Contain Nuts: A Very Loose Cannon of American Humor (Harper Perennial) and Stumbling and Raging: More Politically Inspired Fiction (MacAdam/Cage).
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Amazon
ISBN: 978-1-58297-535-1
Paperback, 186 pages
$14.99
Everything Is Wrong With You
The Modern Woman's Guide to Finding Self-Confidence Through Self-Loathing
By Wendy Molyneux
While other self-help books might tell you that something is wrong with you, this book is here to tell you that everything is wrong with you. In your quest for perfection, are there things you've forgotten to worry about?
Like:
- Are your toes weird? I'm not saying they are, but are they?
- What if you think you are thin, but you actually have a vision disorder that just makes you see yourself as thin when, in fact, you are totally not thin? Think about it!
- What if whenever you go out of town your boyfriend has crazy orgies at your house? And what if all your best friends come to those orgies? Of course I can't prove it, but can you disprove it?
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Remember, if you were OK, there wouldn't be so many books and magazines out there devoted to helping you get prettier and be more stylish. I mean, if you think that publishers are just in it for the money, then you definitely have trust issues! How can you solve them? Please purchase this book to find out. And maybe buy an extra copy in case you lose this one. And a third one in case you get mugged on your way home and the mugger demands three copies in exchange for your life. It happens all the time.
On the other hand, you could just walk out of here without this book, thinking that you are great just the way you are … and arrive home to find that your husband has left you because of your weird toes.
Good luck.
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Amazon
ISBN: 978-1-58297-478-1
Paperback, 176 pages
$16.99
Really, You’ve Done Enough
A Parents’ Guide to Stop Parenting Their Adult Child Who Still Needs Their Money But Not Their Advice
By Sarah Walker
Let’s face it, everyone goes through the painful transition of learning that parents are really just people… people with faults, who probably made grievous errors when they raised you. And Really You’ve Done Enough has plenty of case studies, illustrations, charts, graphs, bullet points, and lists to prove it.
Packaged as an instruction guide to parents, you'll love this humorous take on adult children's relationships with their invasive parents.
About the author
Sarah Walker’s work has been featured at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and in Opium Magazine. Currently she works at The Daily Show with John Stewart" following previous stints at "Late Night with Conan O’Brien" and "The Late Show with David Letterman."
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Amazon
ISBN: 978-1-58297-511-5
Paperback, 160 pages
$12.99
Oh, the Humanity!
A Gentle Guide to Social Interaction for the Feeble Young Introvert
By Jason Roeder
Are you uncomfortable engaging in conversation? Do you have trouble making friends? Have you longed to have your deeply rooted social anxiety eliminated by a slender paperback you can read cover-to-cover over several lunch breaks? If your answer is yes-or if you're looking for the perfect birthday gift for that special withdrawn someone-the book you've been waiting for has arrived: Oh, the Humanity! A Gentle Guide to Social Interaction for the Feeble Young Introvert
This book will see you through all your interpersonal struggles:
- "How can I boost my self-confidence? I've already tried crying all day and avoiding my horrible reflection in the mirror. Is there something else that might work?"
- "I'm not very good at small talk. How can I get the least out of every word I use?"
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- "What exactly is 'body language'? My arrest record suggests I need some clarification."
- "My hobbies include scrapbooking, swimming with dolphins, and taking chain letters very seriously. How can I find people with similar interests?"
- "I recently decided to become a hipster schmuck. How can I rid myself of current friends incompatible with my new, ill-advised persona?"
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Plus, somewhat more!
Life is a precious gift that could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Isn't it time you lived it the way some total stranger who wrote a book thinks you should? Don't waste another day locked inside yourself. Oh, the Humanity! is all you'll ever need to jump-start your social skills!
You'll also need a promotional Frisbee if we get some of those made.
Order this book:
Amazon
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